Unschooling Cassidy or How Cassidy Unschooled Us
Dear Unschoolers Unlimited,
Can you describe a normal day, say when your son was eight or nine? How do you get out of the house on time or the teeth brushed? … It annoys me to wash clothes and then find the clean clothes not put away or lying on the floor. Things are crunching as I go through her room! W. J.
Hi W. J.
Well, it's all a little fuzzy, but I'll try. I do remember the clothes on the floor and that crunching sound. We definitely had some unpleasant moments over teeth and getting places on time. Sometimes we were late or didn't get there at all. Sometimes there was unhappiness. But mostly what I remember is what joy it was to live and learn together. I did ask Cassidy for help with the housekeeping, but tried not to make it into a battle. Usually we remembered that we were the adults responsible for taking care of Cassidy and he was the kid whose main job was to play. Yes, there were times when it was all too much work and I was annoyed, frustrated, tired, cranky, etc. But I tried to think of that as my problem, my attitude needing adjustment. And usually I could adjust it (sooner or later). I relaxed about my housekeeping. I study t’ai chi, go to class every week, practice every day. Having an outside interest and discipline has been very helpful and I think good for Cassidy, too.
Our kids are our teachers and one of the ways they teach us is to push our buttons, push our limits. They make us better, stronger, more patient, more loving than we ever thought we could be. And they help us have more joy and more fun than we ever thought we could have.
When he was 8 & 9, Cassidy was really into origami and Legos. About that time we got our first computer, which he set up and taught us how to use. He loved to read and to be read to. Lots of Tin Tin and Asterix comics and all kinds of books. He loved games and puzzles, spent a lot of time in his room. We worried that he wasn’t interested in sports. He did like to go walking with me at that age. He took classes at the local arts center and museums. His friends were kids in the neighborhood and they all went to school, so he spent a lot of time alone or with us. We did participate in a few activities with homeschoolers, but didn't really click with many of those kids and he didn’t like us to try to “socialize” him.
He always liked to stay up late and sleep late, but when he was about 8 or 9, he read a book about cats (we had 2) that said they should be fed at a regular time every day. He decided, for some reason, that 8 am was the right time, so he set his alarm and (all on his own) got up faithfully every day -- until he decided that some other time would be ok.
He amazed us with the things he learned -- mostly it was a mysterious process, not anything that looked like “learning math” or “learning geography.” He was curious and we just tried to help him gain access to whatever was interesting to him. We did suggest things and often he was open to our ideas -- because he had the option to turn down our brilliant ideas.
Sometimes, the days seemed so long and I wondered if I’d ever have a little peace & quiet. But it really did go by so fast. Now my house is quite orderly and very quiet. Yes, I miss him sometimes, but I’m so happy and proud to see him on his own. And so grateful for the time I was privileged to spend with him.
Enjoy your time together.
Luz
Dear Unschoolers Unlimited,
Can you describe a normal day, say when your son was eight or nine? How do you get out of the house on time or the teeth brushed? … It annoys me to wash clothes and then find the clean clothes not put away or lying on the floor. Things are crunching as I go through her room! W. J.
Hi W. J.
Well, it's all a little fuzzy, but I'll try. I do remember the clothes on the floor and that crunching sound. We definitely had some unpleasant moments over teeth and getting places on time. Sometimes we were late or didn't get there at all. Sometimes there was unhappiness. But mostly what I remember is what joy it was to live and learn together. I did ask Cassidy for help with the housekeeping, but tried not to make it into a battle. Usually we remembered that we were the adults responsible for taking care of Cassidy and he was the kid whose main job was to play. Yes, there were times when it was all too much work and I was annoyed, frustrated, tired, cranky, etc. But I tried to think of that as my problem, my attitude needing adjustment. And usually I could adjust it (sooner or later). I relaxed about my housekeeping. I study t’ai chi, go to class every week, practice every day. Having an outside interest and discipline has been very helpful and I think good for Cassidy, too.
Our kids are our teachers and one of the ways they teach us is to push our buttons, push our limits. They make us better, stronger, more patient, more loving than we ever thought we could be. And they help us have more joy and more fun than we ever thought we could have.
When he was 8 & 9, Cassidy was really into origami and Legos. About that time we got our first computer, which he set up and taught us how to use. He loved to read and to be read to. Lots of Tin Tin and Asterix comics and all kinds of books. He loved games and puzzles, spent a lot of time in his room. We worried that he wasn’t interested in sports. He did like to go walking with me at that age. He took classes at the local arts center and museums. His friends were kids in the neighborhood and they all went to school, so he spent a lot of time alone or with us. We did participate in a few activities with homeschoolers, but didn't really click with many of those kids and he didn’t like us to try to “socialize” him.
He always liked to stay up late and sleep late, but when he was about 8 or 9, he read a book about cats (we had 2) that said they should be fed at a regular time every day. He decided, for some reason, that 8 am was the right time, so he set his alarm and (all on his own) got up faithfully every day -- until he decided that some other time would be ok.
He amazed us with the things he learned -- mostly it was a mysterious process, not anything that looked like “learning math” or “learning geography.” He was curious and we just tried to help him gain access to whatever was interesting to him. We did suggest things and often he was open to our ideas -- because he had the option to turn down our brilliant ideas.
Sometimes, the days seemed so long and I wondered if I’d ever have a little peace & quiet. But it really did go by so fast. Now my house is quite orderly and very quiet. Yes, I miss him sometimes, but I’m so happy and proud to see him on his own. And so grateful for the time I was privileged to spend with him.
Enjoy your time together.
Luz
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